Dramatic Fangirl Diaries

[SwanSong]

I feel like this could be a bit of fun writer-esqu fangirl life thread. (boys are welcome too).

Today is another odd one. Small town living is seriously bizarre, but not in a bad way. It's just odd, going to the same shop day after day. I don't get the same thing every day, but spend about the same amount. Shop keepers are VERY chatty here. So weird. In the city, you go into a shop, buy your food and leave. Here it is - discuss the weather, what are you doing today? What would you like?... Sometimes I have to wait so I sit and read alone like I did in a cafe in the city, but thats viewed as strange, not to be in constant chat. I spread my outings out around the town, there are two cafes a post office and a pub. The pub are practically also my neighbours, I am only a few houses down. Its and odd dynamic with them. They make me feel so welcome, yet if I looked at them as neighbours it would likely be too dependant.

I have the refrigerator turned off, so I have been going to the shop daily. Its just too much bloody effort to leave town haha. So I go to the shop every day and pay the running costs of them having salads in. Problem is, I have been getting a choc milk and cake each day too... I don't like the chat, I feel like its a very gossipy hub. The lady who runs is is simple, but kind. She is most unimpressed if I don't wear a bra. (She also warned me that Jesus was a black man). The pub family is wonderful, but I do find interaction there difficult. Australian pubs almost double as a therapy hub in towns like these. The owners are very trustworthy in my opinion so far. I don't know if I accidentally offend them sometimes, as they are stoic people. I had that sort of dynamic with the last community I lived in, the community I was in was far more christian than I was. Anyway, I think I sometimes like to stir their days up. I can't blame anything other than gishwhes for that... Especially when it comes to my whacky garden. All reactions so far are positive.

How was your day?

 

[SwanSong]

No lack of gossip from the shop. Today I learned that the husband has a blood clot on the brain and has been flown to the city for treatment. Whenever you hear "they've been flown... " you know it's bad. The girls that work there were beside themselves, a little bit hectic, a few tears, I had to be the one to initiate hugs this time! I hope he is ok but I am sure I will get updates as they do. I pray he recovers so he can retire with his wife, they have 9 great grandchildren, they have worked hard for their family and deserve to enjoy some life. I would imagine running a shop like that is life though. They do a little of a lot. I offered to man the store if needed, but I know they will have endless support from this community.

I really need to get out of town again, getting low, getting slow. Not enough to occupy my mind. I went walking in the bush today where its dry before the river floods. Got caught by "granny" as I returned home, she parked her car in the middle of the corner to warn me to get the flu shot. So I do worry about picking up bugs in the city and bringing them back to such a vulnerable community. Although it seems like everyone has the snots right now, it's not the deadly flu.

Everyone was out and about today, it's such a social place, for one so small. The construction workers were singing and dancing again. I ran into just about everyone I know here just walking up to the post office. I don't do social well, but being so solitary leads to selfishness, so I have to make an effort. Many comment that they haven't seen me for a while, but they have seen me in this year so I am a bit like "how often do you expect to see me?" haha. The social club is a bit like going to a family reunion you weren't invited to. A bit overly polite and intrusive.

I often argue with myself about making the best of what I have OR striving for more. I have always been praised for my ambition, but now I am probably at the point I need to fight that than let it lead me. It makes me feel lazy to be this idle. I don't value lazy highly. The best days are my busy days, but only when I stay within my means, which can be a challenge since they are so limited now days. I dread a long life of low capacity.

 

[SwanSong]

I went for a midnight maccas run and got harassed by two drunk blokes at the servo. They were ahead of me at the night counter and ordered 5 sausage rolls between the two of them. They were gona take a while to heat so the attendant gestured me to come forward and pay. I use a fuel card and fumbled with the key pad cos usually the attendents help me. I could hear an echo of my wobbly voice. The drunk men had filmed me fumbling and put it online. I said "please dont put that on the net" and he said, it was too late, it was already on snapchat. His mate laughed and asked him to send it to him so he could share it too. I said you dont have my consent to put my face online,isnt that illegal? The friend screamed in my face "youre not better than us!" And threw rubbish at me. I left quickly but was so shaken I forgot to order my icecream! I got a big fat burger instead to eat my pain. It was dehumanising as someone with disability but i guess just another day in WA. Its not safe to go out as a lone woman in that neck of the woods. I feel super sick now but wrote an article on the experience on how prayer helped me go from feeling worthless to acknowledging their human condition and feeling fine (mentally) again. Maybe I can sell it. Tummy is not so fine... Wish I'd got my icecream instead of pure beef fat.