"I'm not one of them. I'm not an archangel. I'm really more run-of-the-mill. I worked in the secretarial pool before God chose me to take down the word. Anyway, he seemed very worried about his work, what would happen to it when he left, so he had me write down instructions. Then he was gone. After that... the archangels took over. They cried, and they wailed. They wanted their father back. I mean, we all did. But then -- then they started to scheme. The archangels decided if they couldn't have dad, they'd take over the universe themselves. But they couldn't do anything that big without The Word of God. So I began to realize maybe they would realize... they needed me."
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- Thread starter Death
- Start date
Shurley
I am the Stapler Queen!
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2019
- Messages
- 332
"You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him more than anything. And then God created...you. The little, hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you. To love you more than him! And I said 'Father, I can't'. I said 'These human beings were flawed. Murderous'. And for that, God had Michael cast me into Hell! Now tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right. Look what six billion of you have done to this thing and how many of you blame me for it?"
"Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs. "
"Bobby, I said we've had this conversation already. And you could blabber all day... and it wouldn't change a thing, Bobby. I will never forgive you for what happened. You got that? Never. So change the subject, Bob."
"You stupid stupid son of a bitch! Well boo hoo. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt... princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family."
"Okay, Chuck... or God or whatever. I... I need your help. See, you... you left us. You left us. You went off... You said... you said the Earth would be fine because it had me and it had Sam, but it's not, and we're not. We've lost everything. And now you're gonna bring him back. Okay? You're gonna bring back Cas, you're gonna bring back Mom, you're gonna bring 'em all back. All of them. Even Crowley. 'Cause after everything that you've done, you owe us, you son of a bitch. So you get your ass down here and you make this right. Right here and right now! Please. Please help us. "
Well, there's only one explanation. Obviously I'm a god... I'm definitely a god. A cruel, cruel, capricious god.
– Chuck Shurley, 4.18 The Monster at the End of This Book
– Chuck Shurley, 4.18 The Monster at the End of This Book
"You're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. Sure, they're weak, and they cheat and steal and destroy and disappoint, but they also give and create, and they sing and dance and love. Above all, they never give up."